he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
