She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
