You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
