this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The struggles of a small town man whore
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
