Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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