And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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