Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Randomize
