The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
