My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
