so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
