how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
This is my gift to your gina
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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