Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
