my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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