I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
