So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
