She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
