I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am available for nakedness
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
