i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
