i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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