Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
