Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
