its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
