I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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