names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
