is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
