It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Randomize
