when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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