No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
