You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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