it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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