i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
