First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
