oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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