Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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