his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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