ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
