Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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