I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
