i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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