i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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