I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
