i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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