I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
