i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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