Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
