My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
