is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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