can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
