No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
