S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
