They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
