i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
